Archive for The Wise Always Looks to Learn More

Going to Black Beat this year?

Yes!

The thing that sales me on going to a conference will always be the presenters. This Black Beat has a few people presenting that I have a respect for when it comes to the Lifestyle and I am interested to see and hear what they will share.

There are only one of two I have not had some sort of contact with. And for those of you that follow my blog, I am going to find time to interview them all.

For the record, this is not being done by Black Beat. Just simply because of the respect I have for those that presenting. I say this because I don’t want it misunderstood that is this Black Beat driven.

So I will be reaching out to the presenters myself, if more people decide to go to Black Beat because of it…I get nothing from it.

I want to support people I have a respect for. So why not showcase them?

For those, that what to know more about Black Beat, visit their site. That also have auxiliary groups throughout parts of the United States that have regular munches and workshops.

I always encourage folk to get out to meet people in the Lifestyle.

Living Life is bigger than the Internet.

Me and Poly – Learning More Part One

Not sure how long this series will be, but I wanted to share my learning experience.

Well, I decided to join some groups. I found these list of terms:

  • Alpha = usually the ‘top’ sub in a D/s poly situation
  • Closed Poly - when the people in a poly relationship agree not to see out new significant others/relationships. See ‘Polyfidelity’
  • Clan/Tribe/Group = fairly vague terms for poly groups larger than a quad, generally they all have very individual set-ups
  • Compersion = a warm, happy feeling when seeing our partner(s) with their other partner(s), i.e., the opposite of jealousy
  • HBB = Hot Bi Babe (usually female)
  • Hinge = The “one person” in the centre of a ‘V’ relationship
  • Metamour = partner’s other partner
  • Munches = friendly gatherings for poly folks to meet, usually in a public (i.e. vanilla) setting
  • OSO = Other Significant Other
  • Polyfidelity = an arrangement where a group of three or more people agree not to date or fuck anyone outside the group, i.e., a ‘Closed’ Poly arrangement
  • Primary = either a) the most important relationship, b) the relationship that gets the most of a person’s time, or c) the relationship you live with. This hierarchical setup is not used by everyone
  • Quad = A four person relationship where all four are involved
  • Secondary = Everything but primary, the relationships that don’t get as much time, effort, care, etc. Can come across as derogatory
  • SO = Significant Other
  • Spice = plural of spouse
  • Triad = A three person relationship where all three are involved
  • Twue-Polyism = the idea that there is a right way to do poly
  • Unicorn = a bisexual woman who is in a relationship (or willing to be in a relationship) with a male-female couple
  • V = A three person relationship where one person is involved with two people separately
As  well as three reference sites:

So enlisting some of the terms to describe my goal desire in the Poly Lifestyle seems to be the following:

  • In my Closed Polygamous House, it would be a V relationship where I am the Hinge for my wife and husband. My Spice would the Alphas in my D/s Dynamic House.

It is important for me to have a handle on the lingo, so I know what someone is saying to me and I am saying the right thing to a person.

Exploring ANR in BDSM

ANR – Adult Nursing Relationship – considered an act in Erotic Lactation – A relationship where a breastfeeding an adult partner is either the foundation or at least part of the relationship. This partnership is most popularly involving a Lactating female, but they have been some where the male is the lactating partner.

For those paraphilia fans, Breast Milk Fetishist are considered to suffer from lactophilia. Yes, today, everything can be a medical condition.

In the straight or vanilla world, a woman’s breast are either to feed a baby or sexual entice an adult. It is a taboo to used them to sexual entice and feed an adult. Most lump the ANR in with incest play, even bigger taboo. There a number of activities that fall under erotic lactating. Some fetishes in a BDSM Dynamic include Force Breastfeeding, Force Milking and Breastfeeding Reward.

Generally, an ANR begins between a nursing wife and her spouse as an act of release for a nursing woman who is still lactating after child has grown beyond nursing age. ANR as usually long-term relationships between two people, but it can a Lactating female nursing more than one if she is not in a long-term relationship. I gather it would be termed Casual Adult Nursing Relationship. In order to have a regular milk flow regular and often nursing is needed.

It is very easy to begin lactating again, once you have stopped. There are many site that list pill, but that is not needed. For those, like myself, that are not into taking a bunch of engineered medication to achieve natural results… I found this article.

There are also a number of sites, groups and blogs with more information on Adult Nursing Relationships.

Okay, so what is my position on ANR.

My first experience with ANR was before I knew there was a term. It was before I had sexual intercourse. I was seeing this guy that was crazy about my breast. I had rather large breast then as well. He would love always want to suck on my nipples. We started seeing each other shortly after my period started, so my body was going through a lot of changes which included my breast lactating. For a few years, all of our dates concluded (sometimes consisted solely) with him sucking the milk from my breast.

He knew I too afraid to actually let him penetrate me, not that the subject did not come up from time to time. Actually, my unwillingness to have sex is what ended our relationship. We were not even friends anymore, but I still felt the need to have him suck my breast aka Nurse. I only wanted him to do it. It was hard for me to get over the ending of our relationship. Of course, there were times he wanted to just Nurse and I gave in. Then we went back to hating each other, lmao.

What I did not understand was the bound he and I formed from it.

Would I engaged in an ANR, YES. Not in a BDSM Dynamic though. I find Nursing to be a very sacred thing for me.

I began looking into information on it, because I have breast worship as a fetish/kink on a profile of mine and I started receiving request. From notes asking to latch on to me as well as if I lactate would I sell them my breast milk and not for a child. More and more I have received request about being in an ANR within a BDSM Dynamic, so I needed to do some more research.

I like to be informed before making a decision. I know I am not interested in having anyone demand I nurse/milk for anyone, I am not a submissive. The type of Dominant I am in a dynamic, being touched in such a way is not something I allow or feel comfortable with. So, it is not my kink in the BDSM realm.

I have not attempted to open myself for an ANR in years, because of the bounding that happens and how I deal with it when it has been ended. With the  research and thinking back on my past relationships, I am now open to the possibility of building a relationship involving ANR. Dare, I say I miss it

SelfMade Toy Project

I just finished watching a video by Two Knotty Boys. They are very popular in the Rope Art scene. The have written and produce some very popular instructional items in the use of rope play.

As side from my desire to master cell popping/snake bite branding, I want to make myself a few toys. I am set on a few different rope whip/floggers. I brought a couple last year and know that I can make one.

This also gives me an opprotunity to practice my knots. I love the eternity knot. The video I just watched uses the good luck knot as a base for the handle.

I will be doing some rope shopping next.

This is why I am NOT a fan of labels…

First of all, I did not post yesterday because I was not in a positive mood. I never post when I am truly upset. Spiritual reasons.

I mentioned in my Welcome post that I was exploring the label of FinDomme. In my readings thus far, I may still be considered a ProDomme as well. For the record, I have always just call myself a Lifestyle Domme, all of these labeled activity falls until the Lifestyle anyway.

What is a FinDom or FinDomme?

So, do I consider myself a FinDomme. I do love to be taking out and receive gifts. I really love being taking out. Great conversation and food without sex, is always a plus for me. I think it is sweet to receive a gift.

Now some give the impression that FinDoms are supposed to make someone give them something. That rumor made it hard for me to accept the label. The way I operate in the Lifestyle a s-type is to give me their submission, if I have to truly take it then it is not for me. Once I have it, I will OWN IT, CONTROL IT AND USE IT TO MY PLEASURE. I will never take someone’s submission.

The more I look into it that is not truly the case. The submission is still to be offered. So I can accept be called a FinDomme.

Now, when it comes to being a ProDomme…I did not think I was one. Because I was aware that touching in a way that arouses someone and receiving money for it can be seen as prostitution, I would never touch anyone. Apparently having a fetish line, to some, still qualifies me as a ProDomme. So be it.

Now being a Professionl Dominant in the Lifestyle goes deeper than just providing personal sessions for s-types. Demonstrators and Educators in the Lifestyle are Pros as well. Usually you will see them listed as Professional Dominants, because ProDom/Domme has gained a prostitute stigma. Yet they teach technique, etc. and get paid for it with makes them Professionals.

Do I knock either Pros or clients? No. I accept in life to get you have to give. I am sure my view is not a very popular one, but I am not a popular person. Lmao.

Photo by my Sis Mistress Meltz. We were in Chicago visiting each other.

With all this review going on, I still just call myself a Lifestyle Dominant.

Bottomline, it is not what they call me…it is what I answer to that matters.

 

The Sadist is in love…

I am still learning and do not recommend anyone to take on this edge play without proper study and instruction.

 

The Sadist in me has found a new Technique she is very taken by.

I have looked more into Edge Play. First it was Fire Cupping then I am came across Scarifications. I have become fascinated with Cell Popping. It is a hot fire strike branding.

The Technique is like a temporary ink-less tattoo branding. Cell Popping is a series of dot branding that form a design. Cell Popping can last up to six months  depending on the healing of the person. The process is close to Snake Bite Branding, although the Snake Bite Branding last long then the Cell Popping Brand.

There are many different types of kits. For the monetarily challenged, you can heat a sewing needle until red and then strike the skin. I suggest strongly to have at least 10 different  needles. Sewing needles are not engineered for heated, so to avoid the tip for coming off in the subject from over heating have multiples. I am going to buy a kit when I am ready. I have started practicing on oranges now while I am looking for a class to attend.

I like the thought of using this type of branding instead of a collar. I like leaving  bruises when I beat people, so I love the thought of someone dawning my mark. I want to reserve my collar for s-types that are close to me, but for s-types that are just in my service my mark is good enough. I have already started doodling my design. I will probably use my mark for pain sluts. If I were to ever collar one, I can create a permanent mark with a 3rd degree burn effect from the Cell Popping.

Also, as I practice and educate myself, I am creating a questionnaire and physical requirements. There are health risks to consider remember this is a burn.

The other scarifications Technique that I am considering learning next is Artistic Cutting.